Funny Quotes Defination
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
Lana Turner Money, Man, More
I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.
Ron White Life, You, Believe
A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.
Bill Cosby Stupid, Need, Word
When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.
Albert Einstein Nice, You, Like
Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.
Elbert Hubbard
Life, You, Will
Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
Jim Carrey Great, Man, Every
Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.
Mark Twain Go, Hell, Company
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
Steve Martin Day, You, Like
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.Frank Sinatra Good, Morning, Day
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin God, Happy, Us
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov Great, Think, Know
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain You, Your, Get
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein Change, Fit
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg Because, Them, Did
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
Buddy Hackett Family, Take, Two
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.
Ellen DeGeneres Day, Know, Now
A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul.
George Bernard Shaw Support, Pay
A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changes it more often.
Oliver Herford Man, More, Mind
Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
Mae West Never, Always, Two
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
Lily Tomlin More, Always, Been
Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?
Phyllis Diller You, Take, Why
Any girl can be glamorous. All you have to do is stand still and look stupid.
Hedy Lamarr You, Stupid, Girl
A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.
Steven Wright Me, Lot, People
I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.
Elayne Boosler Out, Always, Every
Weather forecast for tonight: dark.George Carlin
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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.Frank Sinatra Good, Morning, Day
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin God, Happy, Us
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov Great, Think, Know
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain You, Your, Get
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein Change, Fit
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Mitch Hedberg Because, Them, Did
I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.Frank Sinatra Good, Morning, Day
Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
Benjamin Franklin God, Happy, Us
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
Isaac Asimov Great, Think, Know
Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
Mark Twain You, Your, Get
If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
Albert Einstein Change, Fit
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
Funny Quotes Tumblr Cover Photos Wallpapers For Girls Images And Sayings For Him For Her For Friends In Hindi
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